


Counsellor

by Gawd_Complex



Series: Trust [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Friendship, Gen, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 13:22:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11418837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gawd_Complex/pseuds/Gawd_Complex
Summary: Arthur wants to know why Merlin and Mordred can't seem to get along and inadvertedly sets something in motion.





	Counsellor

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't watched the entire show, I encourage you to do so and leave this story be for the moment. Also, it's not entirely canon compliant, but I hope you will enjoy it.

  
**I.**  


"Sir Lancelot," Arthur said, after the meeting at the round table had ended and everyone was leaving the room. "Could I have a word with you for a moment?"

"Of course, sire," Lancelot responded.

Some of the other knights glanced at him curiously as they left the room. Arthur patiently waited until they were alone. Then he took a deep breath and looked at Lancelot with a frown.

"You and Merlin… speak, don't you?"

For a moment, Lancelot was taken aback. Then he realized that this talk was probably something the king had decided to do in a spur of the moment, if the redness in his face was any indication. Lancelot made no mention of Arthur's phrasing.

"Yes, sire."

"Have you noticed anything… off about him lately?"

"No, sire," Lancelot said, and then he frowned, "Well, aside from his absence just now, perhaps."

"Tavern," Arthur muttered angrily.

Lancelot inwardly winced in sympathy for Merlin.

"You are sure you haven't noticed anything about him?" Arthur stared at Lancelot intently, his frown deepening, as if staring at his knight was going to make the knight talk. As it was, Lancelot truly had nothing to say to the king.

"I am sure, sire."

Arthur let out a deep sigh, as he massaged his temples. He was quiet for a couple of moments. Lancelot was sure Arthur would dismiss him any second, but the king surprised him.

"Then… what do you think about our newest knight?"

"Sir Mordred?" Lancelot asked, and with a startling realization, he suddenly knew what Arthur wanted to ask him about. Arthur must have been hoping for his reaction if his triumphant eyes were any indication.

"Sir Mordred is very fine knight, sire," Lancelot said, "He shows a lot of promise, and his heart is in the right place. He's quick to learn and he goes well with the others."

Honestly, there wasn't anything bad to say about the youngest and newest knight of Camelot. He had shown his bravery when he rescued Arthur from Morgana. He had shown kindness to strangers and friends. He had improved considerably in training in a short amount of time, showing just how great a knight he could be. Compared to many of his peers, Mordred was a very respectful and polite young man. He may not have Percival's brute strength or Gwaine's charisma, but Mordred had something very unique himself. He was quieter than the other knights, but in that silence there seemed to be a hidden wisdom.

In that way, Mordred almost reminded him of Merlin.

"I have said all of those things myself," Arthur interrupted his newest startling revelation, "To Merlin. Yet… he does not seem to think much of Mordred. He will not say why. He will not even admit that he dislikes Sir Mordred. But I haven't imagined it, have I?"

Arthur looked at Lancelot again. Lancelot could only shake his head.

"You haven't, sire."

Lancelot had noticed it too. Anyone who didn't know Merlin that well, would never be able to tell any difference. Merlin seemed to treat Mordred the same as he did everyone else and he had never spoken ill of the boy, for all Lancelot knew. Yet, if one knew how to look, it was clear that Merlin didn't like Mordred. Maybe it was more of a feeling than anything else. But then Lancelot remembered something that had happened earlier this week, and he knew he and Arthur weren't the only who had noticed Merlin's behaviour. Mordred knew it too.

Arthur looked to the wall with a look of slight annoyance on his face. He sounded more annoyed with each word that he spoke. "Merlin has a history of 'funny feelings' and, though I loathe to admit it, he has been right more than once. There must be a reason he dislikes Sir Mordred, even when I cannot see it. I figure it must be something that doesn't endanger me or Camelot, or he would have told me about it. Also, I have noticed Merlin sometimes speaks to you on matters he doesn't wish to discuss with me, for whatever reasons."

Arthur practically spat the last three words out.

Lancelot wasn't sure if Arthur was more annoyed by the fact he had just admitted that Merlin wasn't always wrong or that there were things Merlin discussed with someone other than himself.

"I want you to talk to Merlin," Arthur said, "If there is a reason for any animosity between my manservant and any of my knights, I want to it to be resolved."

"I will speak with Merlin, sire."

Just like Arthur, Lancelot had been doubting himself regarding animosity between Merlin and Mordred. But if even Arthur had noticed something off about his servant, then there really was no doubt about it all. 

  
**II.**  


"Merlin."

Merlin looked around groggily before he noticed Lancelot in the doorway. The knight let himself in, and looked curiously at the messy state of the Gaius's chambers. It was something Merlin himself desperately wasn't trying to do. He had only been back for ten minutes and he had decided that if he didn't look at the mess, he wouldn't know there was a mess and therefore he would not have to clean that mess. His logic was only successful through Gaius's absence.

"What are you doing here, Lancelot?" Merlin asked curiously, then he started to frown, "Is there something wrong?"

"No," Lancelot assured quickly, "At least, I hope not. I was hoping to speak to you earlier today, but I couldn't find you anywhere. Where have you been?"

"At the taverns," Merlin said, as he rolled his eyes. "Haven't you heard?"

Lancelot gave him a sympathetic smile. "I hope Arthur hasn't been too hard on you."

"Arthur is just… Arthur," Merlin muttered out loud, while he came up with more interesting synonyms for Arthur in his mind. "It doesn't matter. What are you doing here?"

Lancelot looked around the room, and Merlin frowned as he thought the knight might be trying to buy time for some reason. When he walked towards Merlin and took place at the other end of the table, Merlin had to keep himself from looking very worried. He realized he may not be doing such a great job at it when he saw Lancelot's face.

"Merlin, I have noticed there is something going on between you and Mordred."

Startled, Merlin just stared at Lancelot for a couple of moments. For some reason, he really hadn't expected to hear that. On the other hand, Lancelot had more than once proven to be more observant than Merlin thought.

"There is nothing going on between Sir Mordred and I," Merlin said, and then he started rattling off all of the things he had heard Arthur and the knights say about Mordred, most of which he himself had been witness too. He may have been more convincing if he hadn't sounded as if he was reading one of Arthur's royal decrees out loud. He could tell from Lancelot's face that the man clearly wasn't buying it.

"You know you can tell me anything, Merlin," Lancelot said, when Merlin had finished his impressive recounts of Mordred's short career so far. To Merlin's annoyance, Lancelot didn't even acknowledge anything he had just said. "I have seen you. You don't like Mordred. Don't try to deny it. Even Arthur himself has noticed it. Has it to do with magic? Camelot? Arthur?"

Merlin stared at his friend, a bit unsure.

"Arthur noticed something? Anything?"

"Yes," Lancelot said, almost patiently, "And you know, if you can't even fool Arthur…"

Merlin gulped. He was unsure of whether to trust Lancelot or not. He wanted to, he truly did. Yet, at the same time, it almost felt as if he would be pitting two knights against each other. On the other hand, Merlin needed a second opinion. He needed someone to tell him he was right not to trust Mordred, unlike Gaius who had been swayed by the young druid's actions. He needed someone to believe him.

"You know you can trust me," Lancelot urged, sensing his hesitation.

And so, he spilled the beans to Lancelot.

He started with the most essential part of the story: that the fates of Arthur and Mordred were intertwined and that Mordred would be the end of Arthur. And then he told the story of how he had found out. He told about his first meeting with Mordred, when the druid had just been a child. Then he told about his second meeting with Mordred, not leaving out that he'd tried thwart fate that day. Then he told about the third meeting, which had led to Arthur knighting the boy.

With nothing left to say, he kept quiet.

Lancelot straightened his back on his chair. He shook his head slightly, and then his eyes locked onto Merlin's with an earnesty only Lancelot could display.

"I think you're wrong this time, Merlin."

Merlin's heart dropped, and he was pretty sure his body slumped.

"It isn't right to judge a man based on something he hasn't done."

"But he will." Merlin said, almost instantly. Merlin was still haunted by the vision of Mordred killing Arthur in cold blood, a vision that seemed to be getting closer every second.

"But he hasn't," Lancelot said, as he stared at his friend with an odd expression. "This isn't like you, Merlin. Nothing about this sounds like you."

Merlin was slightly puzzled, but then he realized what Lancelot was referring to. How he had decided to leave a young Mordred to Uther's mercy, nearly betraying Arthur in the process, only to come around in the last second. How he'd used his magic to slow Mordred down, hoping it would give two knights the edge they needed to kill him. How he'd urged Arthur to kill the druid boy when Mordred was the only one of their captors to show any mercy towards the prisoners – after he had reached out to Merlin personally.

"He's going to kill Arthur."

The words he could never separate from Mordred tumbled out of his mouth, yet Lancelot didn't seem that impressed. His frown deepened. He didn't seem angry with anything Merlin had said, but Merlin couldn't figure out what he knight was thinking.

"Does Mordred know about this?"

Merlin shook his head. Then he was suddenly overcome by the fear that Lancelot would tell him.

"I am not going to tell him," Lancelot said quickly, as he saw Merlin's fear. "But you do realize that while all this has been going on between you and him – he only knows half of it?"

Of course Merlin knew. It was one of the things that kept eating at him.

"Forgive me, but Mordred seems to have plenty of reasons to be angry at Camelot – or at you, Merlin. And yet, he has protected Camelot and the king. He has become a knight, and takes his title very seriously. He has been doing everything right. By keeping your secret safe, he is even protecting you."

Merlin knew Lancelot was being kind about all of this. That just made it harder.

"What are you saying?"

"You can't judge a man for something he hasn't done yet, not even if it was predicted he would. It's unjust."

Merlin swallowed, not sure of what to say, except the dreaded, dreaded words: But he's going to kill Arthur.

Judging from Lancelot's expression, he had just muttered that.

"Fear is a bad counsellor, Merlin." Lancelot told him. It killed Merlin that Lancelot remained as understanding and non-judging as always. "Uther was guided by fear."

Lancelot sighed, as Merlin didn't say anything. He simply didn't know what to think.

"I am not keeping you from protecting Arthur. I am not telling you to do anything. I just think you are making a mistake by dismissing what's right in front of you, just because you think you know what's right ahead."

With that, Lancelot left and Merlin was left to tend to his thoughts. 

  
**III.**  


To say that he was surprised that Emrys had been hiding is his room would be an understatement. Still, it hadn't been half as surprising as hearing what Emrys had to say.

"I want to apologize," Emrys said, so quickly it was as if he feared he might not say the words if he didn't say them immediately.

Mordred stared at Emrys, having just closed the door behind him.

"Excuse me?"

"I want to apologize," Emrys said, not quite meeting his eyes. "For the things I've done in the past. To you. You… didn't deserve it."

"Then why did you do so?"

"I… had my reasons, but I cannot reveal them."

Emrys seemed to struggle for words, and Mordred really had no intention of making this easier on him. Or maybe he was a bit at a loss for words himself. Or maybe he was silently amused to see Emrys this way.

"You were a child," Emrys continued, "and I… I was afraid. Then, when we met again, I was still afraid. Even when you were knighted… You haven't done anything wrong. I am sorry for the way I have treated you. I hope you can forgive me."

Mordred now definitely was at a loss for words. Something tickled in the back of his mind.

"Why this change of heart?"

It wasn't as if he was trying to ruin this moment. It wasn't as if he was trying to sabotage Emrys's apology. There was this urgent feeling in his gut that something wasn't quite right. He'd been prepared to face Emrys's inexplicable mistrust and dislike of himself, for months, maybe even years, if it meant he could keep Arthur safe and magic would return to Camelot.

"Because I was wrong," Emrys said. This time, for the time since he had entered the room, he dared to look at Mordred's face. And Mordred knew Emrys was genuine.

"Then why did you do it?" he repeated.

"I can't say," Emrys said, shaking his head. He hesitated, and his next words were very unsure. "Maybe... one day."

"You still don't trust me?" Mordred couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"I can't, not right now. Not just yet," Emrys admitted, his eyes uneasy. "But I'm going to try, Mordred. I'm willing to try."

Mordred believed him. He may have been slightly impressed by Emrys's honesty, but he wasn't going to let it show. He felt a bit weird by this unexpected visit from Emrys, by these unexpected words. It felt like something heavy had been lifted deep within him. It wasn't gone, but it was lighter than before.

"I can't accept your apology. Not right now. Not just yet," Mordred found himself saying. A smile crept around the corners of his mouth as he could physically see the moment Emrys realized Mordred was using his own words against him. "But I'm willing to try. I suppose."

Emrys seemed unsure of how to respond to him. He blinked a couple of times, and then he just stared at Mordred, his eyes narrowing.

"Gwaine did say you have a smart mouth."

The situation still felt a bit unreal, as if it could all fall apart in a second. Mordred's smile went as quickly as it had come. For a few moments neither of them knew what to say. Then Mordred hesitantly offered his hand to Emrys.

And Emrys took it. 

  
**IV.**  


"So?" Arthur said expectantly. Once again, he had asked that Lancelot remained behind after a council meeting. He could hardly address this problem in front of everyone, or it he would become known as King Arthur, the great relationship counsellor. "What did Merlin say?

"He denied it," Lancelot said.

"Something has definitely changed between Merlin and Sir Mordred," Arthur said. He was burning with curiosity as to what had happened. Even more so, he wanted to know what had caused the friction between Merlin and Mordred in the first place. Sir Lancelot seemed to somehow have gotten through to Merlin. Arthur was willing to play dirty to get his answers.

"Merlin said that he hadn't been acting differently towards Sir Mordred intentionally," Lancelot said, "He said he would be more aware of his behaviour from now on."

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "Then why did he deny everything when I asked him about it?"

"You would have to ask Merlin, sire."

"I am asking you."

"Perhaps he only realized the truth of your words after I also questioned him about his behaviour, sire," said Lancelot, after a short pause, "In all truthfulness, there is nothing else to say about my talk with Merlin. Most importantly, it seems Mordred and Merlin are getting along better now."

"It does," Arthur muttered.

Just seeing the slight changes in how Mordred and Merlin now treated each other, had made him realize that Lancelot's talk with Merlin seemed to have had success. Even more so, now that they were behaving friendlier towards each other, it became just more apparent how odd their earlier behaviour had been. Mordred hadn't been in Camelot for that long, so Arthur didn't really know him well enough to see that Mordred had always been guarded in Merlin's presence. Only now that he let his guard down somewhat, did Arthur realize it hadn't wasn't just Merlin who'd been acting off.

Even though he didn't believe Lancelot was telling him the entire story, he decided to dismiss the knight anyway. It seemed to have turned out all right in the end, and that was what mattered. 

  
**V.**  


Arthur stared at his unusually silent servant who sat on the other side of the fire. It was in the dead of night, and Arthur felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. He needed a second opinion. He needed Merlin's opinion. For some odd reason, Merlin wasn't giving him anything.

"Perhaps my father was wrong. Perhaps the old ways aren't as evil as we thought. So what should we do? Accept magic? Or let Mordred die?"

Arthur was taken aback by how difficult this question seemed to be for Merlin, as he kept urging him to answer. The fire lit Merlin's face and Arthur was slightly disturbed by what he saw. His overly sensitive servant seemed almost close to crying. Had they been discussing anything else, Arthur would've called Merlin names. But here they were, discussing the future of Camelot and discussing how far they would go to save the life of Sir Mordred.

He needed Merlin's opinion. He really did.

And so he waited.

After what seemed like ages, Merlin finally answered. It may have been the lighting of the fire, but Arthur was pretty sure his friend was shaking.

And as he spoke, he sounded terrified.


End file.
